Papu Manni, 89 & Married *74* Years

Wise people have said so many wise things. But it is only in a single indescribable moment when the self experiences the truth and something just clicks in place!

Today I had one of those moments.

Today, the impermanence and fragility of life is more real to me than ever before.

Today, I met Papu Manni, an adorable little aunt, who recently lost her husband, Ramu Mama, an adorable little uncle.
What's unusual to me is that this year, she is turning 90 while Mama died at 93.
Papu manni and Ramu mama got married on 2nd June 1938. 

They were married for - Lo and Behold! - 

74 Years!!

74 Years of love, togetherness, kindness and good health!
They did not have children.
They did have a lot of love, simplicity, intelligence and caring.

Still held hands. :D

In the few moments I spent with an adorable liitle aunt, Papu Manni, I truly internalized that in life, what's worth working for, what's worth fighting for is all the little stuff that I leave behind - and its actually all the intangible stuff. No matter how much a person tries to measure it - the number of lives he/she changed, the number of tubewells he got dug, the amount of money he saved, the deals he got signed, all that measurable stuff, on his deathbed, what counts is that intangible experience that he/she cannot measure, cannot touch but can only feel.

So to me, just 3 things that we leave behind and that finally matter:

• the fruit of ones actions
• the memories left behind in others hearts and minds
• the longing and the little knick knacks that our loved ones have to deal with (specs, a fave T, an earring...)

Another big lesson is that life does go on.

Make no mistake. In no measure am I sad or in some discomfort as I write this. :)
As a child I best remembered Papu Manni and Ramu Mama for their large house with a huge courtyard and a Fiat parked inside....it had the sort of old world charm that reminded one of going back into the photographs of the 70s...I loved that place for we could play there, and for the sweet welcoming smiles that they always had for me and Bhavna, my sis. They were a petite couple, soft-spoken but sharp.

In all, good human beings.

Some things that Papu Manni said today that I'd like to remember...

• Sometimes there is nothing better than not having enough money (Panam vandama irkurda souryama pocha) 
• When giving something to a person, give to a person who will know its real value and respect its soul (Samaan kudkardana armai terenja vall ta daan kudkarda) 
• Spend the money on care of others, fulfilling ur dharma, purchase the needed, not on 30 different dishes with 5 sweets and 500 guests and a big tamasha and show. So much food gets wasted, do I want my marriage to start with disproportionate food wastage and some unhappy guests who felt uncared for? (Dhaanam dharmam oda, sapaadu, panam waste pannama simple kalyanam paanikerdu better) 

My mum always talked about these things but hearing it from a woman who has shared her life lessons, has loved and lost and yet in essence, won - it carries tremendous weight in my heart.